Kristi’s Reflection on Coaching

Fresh out of undergrad with a BA in anthropology, I entered an amazing leadership development program called Public Allies (PA). At the time PA brought together 30 young and diverse people to develop the next generation of leaders in the nonprofit sector. We apprenticed in local organizations and worked on teams to shape change in our communities. A key part of the program was having a program manager: someone who individually met with me, provided feedback, asked questions, and helped guide me through this immersive program as I navigated the workplace, community, and the world of team dynamics.

By today’s standards, that person would be called a coach. He asked me challenging questions, called me on my blind spots, and helped me grow to new depths and dimensions. It was a relationship that imprinted on me and made me a better person.  

Having my career birthed with the support of a coach makes coaching feels like part of my DNA. Like an old friend along the way, I’ve always leaned into coaching. I’ve been informally coached by trusted friends and supervisors. A few years ago, I found myself at a crossroads. I was feeling stuck, sad, and I knew I had patterns that weren’t serving me. I needed a nudge, a safe space, and accountability to turn the corner. I knew I needed a coach. Through the delightful synchronicity of a universe that always has my back, I entered a formal coaching relationship with someone who was able to help me connect those patterns to limiting beliefs, engage in serious introspection and inquiry, and move toward the power that comes with clarity.

The clarity I created several years ago played a key role in where I am today – working with teams and individuals and activating my gifts as a coach. These gifts include my presence, the ability to ask the right questions, and an uncanny ability to unlock candor in those around me, often after only briefly meeting someone. (I honestly thought this happened to everyone, but it took me 40-ish years to realize this was one of my superpowers!)

One of my craziest examples? While waiting for my TV receiver to run a 5-minute update during a service call I had a cable man share with me that he and his girlfriend were thinking about having kids. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. This instance started like most of them do: “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but…”

And with those words I’m knee-to-knee with someone in the rarified air of their personal journey: a crossroads, a big decision, a crisis, or an opportunity. I listen deeply, I feel, I reflect, and we connect. Sometimes these interactions end with clarity; sometimes there are more questions than answers; but regardless they are lighter. I’ve learned that speaking our fears, hopes or dreams to someone else who is ready to hold them (and us) is liberating.

These interactions, whether with the young cable guy or in a formal coaching relationship, are when I feel most activated and alive. To help people unearth their dreams, name their limiting beliefs, and access the liberation that so often comes with these revelations.

If you find yourself grappling with next steps in life, experiencing powerlessness, overwhelm or anxiety – I have sat in the same space as you. I anticipate I will find myself there again too! Such is the journey of life that we are on. We are ever-changing, often needing more than one shot at learning a lesson. Life is always serving us a plot twist we did not see coming. The deep work of uncovering who we truly are is never done. We are always becoming. And I am here to walk the journey with you.

(And in case you’re wondering? By the time the receiver updated and after a few curious questions later, that young cable guy realized he was not ready for kids, just yet.)   

Inspired by the reflection that coaching requires, the image of evergreen trees reflecting on the glassy surface of Tumalo Lake near Bend, OR was taken by Kristi in 2019.