A Reflection on Becoming

…just when I think I’ve made it, when the ground seems stable & the horizon bright, I somersault again. Sometimes the somersaults are more discombobulating than at other times, bringing me  straight to the underbelly, to the depths of my shadows, to what Dante coined, ‘The Inferno.’ While I may be soaring like an eagle one day, with the grace that comes with relishing the expanse of my widened wings, it usually signals that it’s time to ‘go in’ again, that the highs mean lows and that the depths of the lows are equal to the height of the highs. I know it is coming; it’s predictable, like an old friend on the way.

Through this process I have come to recognize the intricate pattern of my own expansion. Expansion requires growth, so I consciously delve back in, knowing that the lesson — the juicy golden nuggets — lie in my willingness to be in the messy: to explore with curiosity my own shadows, to welcome all parts of me with a warm embrace. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I recognize that each part plays a role. In welcoming the messy, I invite all the parts together into an integrated, healthy, wholesome self. Each time I consciously choose to embrace the inevitable somersault of growth each one of us is called to take.

Why a ‘somersault’?

As I set up to somersault, I look up and out, checking that the space around me will allow for a full rotation. I orient. Take a breath, put up my arms, tuck my head…feeling disoriented as my immediate and familiar surroundings disappear. Once in motion, it is best to keep going even if feelings of insecurity have me uneasy. I know that if I resist or deviate from the circular motion, it will get messier, and I will get hurt in the wrong kind of way, and to be honest, I may not make it through to the other side. Resistance, though natural, is futile and only causes unnecessary suffering. I choose to keep somersaulting, as I leap from a place of knowing into the unknown of not knowing. As I discover yet another truth about myself, I am making my ascent. I breathe deeply, smile widely, integrate the lessons, and re-attach another previously lost part of myself. I look around, smell the roses, fly like an eagle, and savor the moment, understanding that this momentary experience of competence and wholeness simply signals that I am on the precipice of…another somersault.

We never stop somersaulting. We never stop becoming.

Tell me about one of your recent somersaults.