Change, Transition and Backyard Fires

Seems like we can’t stop talking about the topics of change and transition lately. Just as we were thrust into change at the beginning of the pandemic, we find ourselves thrust back into change. As vaccinations increase and restrictions ease, grappling with change and transition is ubiquitous – return to work, hybrid work, reentry to society. No matter our age or stage, we’re all at the end of something, on the cusp of a newness we can’t yet entirely define.

Not too long ago my son came to me with a stack of worksheets and papers from school and said, “Mom, can we build a fire and burn these?” He’s not a big fan of school but my inner dialogue at that moment was something like “was the school year so bad that you want to burn all of your work?!?!” Then I thought about the power of ceremonies to mark endings, and I said (to his surprise) “Sure!”

As the sun set and dusk fell, we scoured the yard for kindling and grabbed a bag of marshmallows (because what’s a fire without roasted marshmallows?). My daughter joined in with a pile of worksheets too. Before we settled around the fire pit, I asked them to take a few minutes to write down something they wanted to leave behind from the last school year and to think in their hearts about something good they wanted to carry forward. I expected one of them to roll their eyes at me, but they both ran off and came back a few minutes later. After they shared what they wrote I lit a match and set fire to the papers, leaving behind the last school year and marking the beginning of summer.

This is not unlike what we do when we’re working with teams who are navigating change and transition (minus the fire, of course). It was a gentle reminder that change and transition are all around us, and always have been. As they roasted marshmallows in the midst of our ritual, I slipped my own piece of paper in the flames. Despite our different ages and stages, we each said goodbye to what wasn’t serving us, and we crossed into something new.