Mindset, WHY and Succeeding at Resolutions

I was recently asked to speak at an event, Jumpstart 2020.  The event was created to give women a place to launch their new year’s resolution with other women and included several sample exercise classes, nutrition discussions and a talk on mindset.  It was a BLAST!  As I walked through the doors at Madisonville Recreation Center, I was immediately welcomed by a group of caring women whose only intention that day was to create the space for other women to come and be together.  And then there was dancing, squats, planks, yoga and lots and lots of breathing together.  All of this activity was followed by a focus on nutrition and then the grand finale, my talk on mindset.

Mindset is our most powerful tool to achieve wellness.  Some of you may be ardently disagreeing with me at this moment….”for me, it’s my faith” or “for me, it’s my family” or  “for me, it’s meditation practice” or “for me, it’s my diet” or “for me, it’s traveling the world.”  I agree, all of these things are integral to our well-being and still, the thing that most gets into our way of wellness is our own thinking.

Our thinking, literally our mindset is what makes the ultimate difference in our being well.  The alternative is living in a state of dis-ease.  What I think, what I tell myself directly influences what I do, who I am, and how I show up.  It’s as simple as that; our thoughts inform everything – our emotions, our behavior, and our being.  Put another way, we can’t give what we don’t have.  To give context, let me tell you a little bit about my WHY.  Simon Sinek’s, ‘Start with WHY?’, outlines a framework he calls, The Golden Circles…..Why, How & What. If you haven’t heard of his work, check out his Ted Talks…and if this piques your interest, pick up one of his books. 

The premise is that everyone of us can define what we do, simply by deconstructing our calendars or routines, which easily tells us what we do each and every day, it’s concrete, easy to explain and you’re able to mark it on a calendar.  The WHAT of health usually includes a simple formula: if you drink this much water, go to this many exercise classes, journal this many times, eat this amount of greens, you will be happy and healthy, right?  Obviously not, which is why so many of us fail to achieve our desired outcomes or new year’s resolutions, because the system has set it up as such and we gullibly absorb it.   We want a simple solution to our most complex problems, and we believe that everything we need to know or do is somehow external to us.  That if we just figure out the right WHAT, the right solution or combination of solutions, we will be able to solve our most pressing problems. The WHAT only matters if it is congruent with our WHY and so often few of us know our why, at least not consciously.

So let’s talk about our WHY.  My why is Transform the World/Bring Healing.  It’s why I get out of bed in the morning, it’s why I do what I do, and it’s why I choose to stand in the fire that emergence requires.  It’s why I say to my 4 year old every morning as we load into the car for another day of preschool and work, “let’s go make the world a better place”…..some of you may be thinking at this point, “Oh MY, is she SERIOUS?!?”

And the answer is, ‘yes, yes I am.’  I’m dead serious about transformation.  I’m dead serious about healing.  And I know that I can’t give what I don’t have. For me personally, this means ensuring congruence – that my time on the reformer in Pilates is healing and transformational to my body, that as I chug down the green deliciousness, I tell myself, wow, that’s delicious and cells, here’s a good dose of green goodness coming your way.  For me, Yoga is a chance to breathe; it’s a chance for me to check in with myself, to deepen my level of consciousness.  I am sure that I don’t have a 6 pack, that I’m not great at many of the poses and that I am far from being a yogi….but I do know that in that moment, I’m grateful for that moment to check in with myself, connect to the source and for the brief reprieve from the constant that is my 2 & 4 year old daughters.  

Most importantly, is what I am doing in my own personal practice, in my family practice and in my work practice, congruent with transformation and healing?  Not always, which is why I continue to course correct, it’s why I still seek resolutions.  And what I know is that when I tie individual components of my practice to my WHY, it’s more compelling, more grounded and more sustainable.  If I truly want to heal the world, I have to heal myself, if it is transformation that I seek, then transform I must.  Now let’s take a few moments to contemplate your own why.  Get really curious with yourself, the answers will come.

Download one of the following worksheets:  Keeper of the Spring or Getting to Why