The Art of Negotiation

When you think of the word negotiation what is the first image that pops into your head? Was it a bank heist, SWAT teams, or did you picture Kevin Spacey as “The Negotiator.” Typically, negotiations take place in a much different setting where the use of flak jackets is not necessary. It can happen in the workplace, at home or between friends. Conflict is an unavoidable, inevitable part of our everyday lives. It occurs when two or more parties feel as though they have incompatible goals. So how can negotiation help us overcome the follies of conflict and work towards a constructive outcome?

Negotiation is a way to reach mutually acceptable agreements that efficiently and effectively attain favorable outcomes for all parties involved. Roger Fisher and William Ury present the concept of principled negotiation in their book, “Getting to Yes.” The concept consists of four principles: separate the people from the problem, focus on interests not position, invent options for mutual gain, and insist on objective criteria in choosing options. Let’s break down each of these principles.

1.) Separate the People from the Problem– People become emotionally involved when it comes to conflict and often react with fear or anger when they feel as though their interests are being threatened. When one’s emotions become entangled with the problem, it is difficult to see the others viewpoint. Therefore we must clarify perceptions in order to fully understand how the other party feels. Practicing active listening is vital in this principle. Rather than planning responses to what the other party is saying, listen so that perceptions can then be better clarified.  One of the ironies of negotiation is that when we stop trying to convince, we become more convincing. Think of each other as partners not adversaries.

2.) Focus on Interests not Position– “Your position is something you have decided upon. Your interests are what caused you to so decide,” says Fisher and Ury. When we define a problem in terms of position we have created a win-lose situation, where one side is right and the other wrong. When we instead define the problem in terms of the parties underlying interests we are more likely to find a solution which satisfies both parties interests. Discover underlying interests by first asking why the party holds the position they do. Once interests have been discovered share them to find “common ground” or “points of agreement.”

3.) Invent Options for Mutual Gain– Work together to generate multiple options for a solution with mutual gains. Parties collaboratively brainstorm possible solutions, even the crazy and creative. During the brainstorming process, parties will state the problem, analyze the problem, consider general approaches and consider specific actions. After a large array of ideas have been created parties can then evaluate and refine options. Find solutions that are low cost to one side and high benefit to the other and vice versa.

4.) Insist on Using Objective Criteria– Final solutions should be chosen using criteria that both parties believe in and are not under the control of any single party. Parties must choose which criteria is best for their situation and should be both legitimate and practical. An example of objective criteria would be legal precedent, scientific findings or professional standards.

Negotiation is best achieved by finding a collaborative solution both parties are satisfied with. Use Fisher and Ury’s four principles when the next conflict arises in your life (and inevitably one will) and see what a difference it can make. Conflict does not have to mean the end of a relationship, let it be a way to work together to change the outcome.

Have a different negotiation technique? Share your story with us!